If You Tell a Three-Year-Old to Go to Bed... Based on a True Story
If you tell a three-year-old to go to bed, she's going to have to use the potty first.
When she uses the potty, she is going to ask for a reward (even though she hasn't had one in the many months that have occurred between potty-training and now).
If she asks for a reward, she will likely want it to be a marshmallow.
After she eats the marshmallow, she will have to brush her teeth.
When she brushes her teeth, she will get some toothpaste on her shirt.
She cannot possibly sleep in a shirt that has toothpaste on it, so she will ask you to get her a new one.
When you change her shirt, you will also have to change her pants (because Paw Patrol pants DO NOT go with a Frozen shirt).
When her pajamas are on, she will crawl into the bed.
Once she's in bed, she will ask for a bed time story... and another... and another.
The denial of the fourth bed time story will cue her to start to cry (because four is her "favorite number").
When she cries, she is going to need a tissue.
You will get her a tissue and blow her nose.
You will read the fourth bed time story, The Pout-Pout Fish.